When I married, I had to divide the holiday between two households to make sure each set of parents had ample time with my husband and me. It can be tough, and I never wanted one set of parents to feel cheated at the expense of the other set of parents.
It was challenging, but made for a day of frantic fun, until it wasn’t. Now with daddy gone, when my husband and I leave, it’s very hard because we’re half the party. My mother and brother are left to enjoy the afternoon together while my husband and I hit the freeway to see his parents before the day gets away from us.
I shared with my brother that the holidays aren’t ever going to be the same because daddy is gone. I think it’s still hard for him to face, especially being single. The laughter of children doesn’t fill the house and it’s a reminder of Christmases past that will forever be a memory that can only be remembered every year, not relived with new toys and shrieks of laughter from grandchildren.
And it’s hard for me because I don’t want to leave my mother, but I also need to be mindful of spending time with my other parents whose grandchildren are now grown, so the shrieks of laughter from children is missing from their home, too.
After talking it over, my brother and I decided to propose a new tradition to my mother in which my husband and I will have Christmas eve dinner with my mother and brother, spend the night to open gifts in the morning and go out for a hearty breakfast before my husband I leave to spend the day with his parents and then go home to spend a couple of hours reflecting together. The point is to prioritize making memories.